So, here we are a month down the stretch. Lincoln's birth oftentimes seems just like yesterday and oftentimes seems like it was four years ago. It's really strange how that happens. Several times over the last month I have actually smelled him. It is usually when I am playing with Rocco, which I think is really sweet. It's like Lincoln is there in the joy of laughter with us! We are actually doing very well (much better than I had anticipated). I have struggled with anxiety and a bout of what I think was post-partum depression after one of my miscarriages, so I was honestly pretty terrified of how I would feel. And to be pretty honest, I actually feel great. I actually feel guilt that I don't feel worse, which doesn't really make much sense I guess. How can a woman who has just lost her son a month ago smile and be happy and feel at peace? The answer is through Christ alone. I have been granted such an incredible peace about Lincoln's death. I find myself thinking of him and wondering what he is doing at certain moments. You see, I know Lincoln still lives, because I know that HE lives. And I am overcome with an unspeakable joy knowing that my precious boy is in Heaven. Paradise! I also know that Lincoln's little body is fully healed, and that his life in Heaven is far beyond the life he would have had on this earth. Don't get me wrong, I miss him terribly and coveted time with him here, but I am starting to grasp the mercies of why God called him home early. And I know that one sweet day, I will see him again! I have so much trouble fathoming the belief (or unbelief) of people that there is no God or no Heaven. That equates to no hope! I've placed all of my stock in the hope and faith of Jesus alone, and I know that is the reason, the ONLY reason, that I have been able to travel this journey.
I really didn't mean to start preaching in this post :) The intention was to share some pictures of Lincoln taken by the fabulous Jason Davis of J. Davis Photography (
www.jdavisphotos.com). I hope you all enjoy (and call him for all of your newborn/children's photo needs)!
And now, take a look at all of this dark hair!
Thanks for indulging this proud momma! Blessings to you all!
Lindsey
P.S. I went to Lincoln's gravesite today to see if his tombstone was placed yet. On his grave was a beautiful floral arrangement that hadn't been there too long because the flowers were still pretty and not wilted. There was no card, and no one in the office of the funeral home could give me information on who they were from or what florist delivered them. If it was you and you are reading this, I want to say a huge thank you! It feels good to know that Lincoln is thought about and loved by so many people!
