Another
week. Inevitably, I count. Weeks go by, and I count them. 13 weeks since
Lincoln’s physical arrival on earth and spiritual arrival into Heaven. How long
will I continue to count? I can’t answer that question, because I don’t know. I
know there isn’t a week or a day that goes by that I don’t think of him, but
will I ever lose track of the weeks? Will I one day say it has been 513 weeks?
Or even 1,000? I don’t know. It’s kind of like when babies grow and mothers
count their lives in weeks, usually until about two years old. Then we switch
to years. I don’t have a problem with that for my living son; somehow, however,
the weekly countdown following Lincoln’s death seems more significant to me
than saying it has been three months. So every Friday, one more mark is made on
my heart. 13 weeks going on forever…
Life is
relatively normal in the Aloisi household. (Or Kitts household as I should say,
since we are still staying with my parents as our home is still under
construction.) I have got to get a picture to post! I am for sure (barring
circumstances beyond my control!) going on the mission trip to Africa. I am so
excited! I feel a very strong pull there, and I feel that God is really going
to use my testimony to speak to someone. I am ready to be His vessel. Please
pray for me and our team. (As an aside, if you would like to make a donation to
the cause, just leave me a comment and I can get you the information J)
In less
than a month Rocco will turn 2. I was imagining just the other day that I
should have had two babies in diapers right now. Rocco is nearing the season of
being ready to potty-train, but he isn’t quite there yet. I know no one has
ever been sad that they didn’t have to purchase diapers, but I sure was. So
goes grief. I cannot believe that winter is so quickly approaching. Every night
it seems that the summer sun is disappearing sooner and sooner below the
horizon. I’m not ready to leave this season behind yet. (Wow, that sentence has so many different
meanings!) We are trying to squeeze in the last few nights of outside playtime
with Rocco. I have never seen a child so young so obsessed with golf! When we
go to the beach in a few weeks we are going to take him to play putt-putt for
the first time. It will be interesting and hilarious to see how he does with a
real club and a real ball instead of plastic!
So, as I
was hinting earlier, the holidays will soon be upon us. I know that a difficult
time is coming for us. I do know that Lincoln will be with us in spirit, and I
want to order him a stocking like the others that we have for our family and
hang it on our mantel. It just doesn’t seem right to not do that. It was very
bizarre to pick out paint colors for the “boys’ rooms”. I have always referred
to the two rooms that aren’t the master suite as the boys’ rooms, as one room
should have been Lincoln’s. It should be decorated with cars and trucks and
little boy things, but instead I chose to paint it a muted, neutral gray. Not
because grey is reminiscent of my feelings, but in anticipation of another
little Aloisi baby at some point in the future. I didn’t want to have something
painted and fresh and have to change it in a year or two. No, I don’t have any
big announcements, but I honestly cannot say I haven’t been thinking of it more
lately. I recently found out a friend is expecting her second child, and her
son is about Rocco’s age. I actually found myself feeling very jealous and longing
for another baby. I know it is still too early for me, and it is out of the
question with Africa coming up in March, but I think I might be ready a few
months sooner than I had first thought. I know it will be a very anxious
journey for me and Tommy, so although I look forward to the beauty of another
pregnancy, I am a little tentative, too. With God’s grace, all things are
possible. J
Blessings!
